This morning was a typical morning of getting up, getting dressed and having breakfast.  My daughter and I were going to go to the grocery store before my husband went to work this afternoon. 

My daughter and I were ready to go, but before leaving I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth.  Well, we ran out of toothpaste in the large tube the other day, so I pulled out one of the small ones you get from the dentist office.  I grabbed my toothbrush, grabbed the tube (the name of the tube wasn’t facing up) and put it on my toothbrush.  And do what most people do……..put it in my mouth and starting brushing, except there was a problem…….it wasn’t foaming.  And then it hit me, there was all of a sudden a strange taste in my mouth….

OMG, I put vagisil on my toothbrush!!!!   I was brushing my teeth with VAGISIL!  I couldn’t rinse my mouth fast enough!!    So I grab the tube to read the caution section…..will I die, will my lips flare up like I have botox, OMG, what do I do.  And then, my mouth started to become frozen!  My whole mouth, you know the feeling, if you have ever had a yeast infection, it’s that glorified feeling of relief. 

I went to the bedroom, where my husband was sleeping and was freeking out, more so because I put my crotch cream in my mouth….it was ok with my mouth being frozen.  He laughed!!  He laughed histarically!  Getting the wrong reaction from him, I called my mother, she laughed…….now I totally get the humour in this whole situation, but I’m still not sure if I have to rush myself to the hospital, this could be my last moments of being alive and all I am getting is pure laughter.

The caution on the bottle said not to use internally…….WELL, I consider my mouth an internal being!  You know, it’s inside of my body!  Anyway, my mom told me to gargle my mouth with salt and water and everything would be ok!

So to conclude my very dramatic story….I’m not going to die!  I will just have a bad taste in my mouth for the day!!  Note to self; ALWAYS make sure you are putting toothpaste on your toothbrush!!  And keep vagisil out of reach of children (and me)!! lol

Recently I haven’t been feeling very well, a have a rare form of arthritis in my back called Ankylosing Spondylitis which only 8% of people get.  I was in such excruciating pain and after two weeks of being bed ridden, I decided that through all the cases of H1N1 that I would probably be best suited  at the hospital, because getting rid of my pain was my number one priority. 

So through all my aches and pains I managed to get my behind in the car and to town my husband and I went.  Reaching the hospital we went in, checked in with the nurse, they sent me to do the almighty pee test, and then back to the waiting room I went.  There were so many sick people.  But through it all there was this show on the televisions called, Man Vs. Wild, or something like that.  It was such a gross show that it gave you no other choice but to forget that there was something wrong with us.  This fellow was drinking his own urine, and went in a dead camel to stay warm, everyone was laughing, it was so gross.

As my name got called we went to the room designated for us.  I was given a gown and told to strip to my skivies.  So the doctor came in and he was HOT, no really, a HOT doctor.  Instantly, I thought to myself, oh no, I haven’t shaved in a dog’s age.  So he came over and said that he had to do a test on my legs, well, let me tell you, a panick went though my body, immediately, I became red and began to express in pretty simple terms that summer was over.  Meaning, that’s right, its November, I haven’t shaved my legs since August. A cave woman, a real live cave woman.  I am warm, what can I say.

My husband was so embarrassed, but not for me, for himself, and only because the hair on my legs are longer then his. 

The doctor didn’t even smile, a little over professional as far as I’m concerned.  So he took the stick and checked for circulation, so  and so forth.  I can’t even tell you how humiliated I was.

So just to teach myself or anyone else out there, make sure you shave before going to the hospital, because you never know who will be touching you and when.  Thank goodness he didn’t need to check my armpits!!  lol

Do you have a shameful story or experience that you can share?  I’d love to hear it!!

I’m not sure what the problem is but every time my husband eats something he gets the sauce on his shirt.                                     

I made spaghetti for supper and it doesn’t fail, my husband seems to always miss his mouth (which is odd in and of its self) every time and gets the food on his shirt.  It is entertaining and annoying at the same time.  I feel like I always have to clean up after him.

We could be going though the drive through and he will get ketchup on himself, or a hot dog, mustard, or I make steak and potatoes, he will get HP sauce on his shirt.  Strange right.  He has enough to say, how can he possibly miss his mouth.

 Really it is at the point that we don’t even eat out on public anymore, I’m pretty sure that they don’t serve bibs big enough.  Our daughter is cleaner then he is for goodness sakes.       

 Do you have any funny stories about your significant other?  And the well known attacking sauce!!  Because it never seems to be them.  :0)