I have a BIG problem!!  I am the one and only  person that I know to sabotage my own happiness.  I let people walk all over me not intentionally and in turn I get hurt and it’s no-body’s fault but my own.  I lend money out, and I need to learn to say no.  Do you have a problem saying no to people? 

My husband is always saying that I have a lot of bark at home but no bite with my friends or family.  On a regular basis whether I am busy or can’t do something, I seem to always find ways to rearrange my time and schedule to help someone in need;  in turn always get screwed over in the end.

Have you ever loaned someone money when you really don’t have enough to loan and are promised the money back in a speeding time and then either never get it back or there are 100 and 1 reasons that they just can’t get it back to you until next pay then you still don’t get it.   Or they forget to pay you back?  Who forgets to pay somebody back money?  Makes no sense, but that is what happens to me.  And I have no courage to ask for the money back, because in my mind they don’t need the extra stress on there shoulders of me asking for my money back.  I just don’t want to cause anyone distress.  Yet, it causes me all the stress in the world.

I am maternity leave right now, and anyone that has been on unemployment insurance know that you hardly make any money, so it’s harder budgeting and in turn extra money kicking around isn’t in the books.  But I still seem to help people.  And for every $20-$100 dollars that I’ve got floating around out there is another dollar that I would have to enjoy time with my children or buy the essentials of life.

Do you have anyone out there that owes you money?  How would you resolve the situation without looking like you are broke and need the money back or making the borrower feel stressed about giving you the money back that they may not have?  I need your help!

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Over the past few years, I have had alot of followers and I think that you deserve a quick note on the reason that I stopped writing.

It is true that the time has flown, but to be honest with you I lost the wind under my sail, so to speak. 

I use this website and blogging to release my inner thoughts, my emotional status and the funnier moments in my life.  If you have kept up with my stories then I have made it respectfully obvious that I do not see eye to eye with my husbands immediate family.   I have been hurt by them on more then one occasion.   My husband is the dark horse in his family and because of that I don’t feel as though they care for his choice in a wife.

A little over a year ago I was writing all the time, I was at my prime of writing and then, I had (to me), a bomb dropped on me; they were reading my blog!!  I know that it is out there for the world to see but it was something that they took from me………my privacy.  I felt small, this was my way of releasing and they just got into my space.  They don’t have anything to do with me in real life, so why did they have to be reading what I was thinking, what I was sharing.  To me (it probably sounds shallow) they took my enjoyment away.  All I could think was, “WHY DO YOU CARE WHAT I AM THINKING WHEN YOU DON’T TALK TO ME!”  So that is why I stopped writing.

Why have I started back???  I have put alot of work into my stories, I am proud of what I have done on this website, and if they want to read what I write then so be it.  (A year later, I don’t think that they will be reading my stories anymore though)   

So I thank you for your patience and I hope that you are ready for a wild ride, because I may not have wrote, but that doesn’t stop the train of stories and experiences that I have encountered over the last year. 

Is there anything that your family/extended family have ever done to make you feel as though you need to quit something?  How did you overcome those dynamics?

This morning was a typical morning of getting up, getting dressed and having breakfast.  My daughter and I were going to go to the grocery store before my husband went to work this afternoon. 

My daughter and I were ready to go, but before leaving I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth.  Well, we ran out of toothpaste in the large tube the other day, so I pulled out one of the small ones you get from the dentist office.  I grabbed my toothbrush, grabbed the tube (the name of the tube wasn’t facing up) and put it on my toothbrush.  And do what most people do……..put it in my mouth and starting brushing, except there was a problem…….it wasn’t foaming.  And then it hit me, there was all of a sudden a strange taste in my mouth….

OMG, I put vagisil on my toothbrush!!!!   I was brushing my teeth with VAGISIL!  I couldn’t rinse my mouth fast enough!!    So I grab the tube to read the caution section…..will I die, will my lips flare up like I have botox, OMG, what do I do.  And then, my mouth started to become frozen!  My whole mouth, you know the feeling, if you have ever had a yeast infection, it’s that glorified feeling of relief. 

I went to the bedroom, where my husband was sleeping and was freeking out, more so because I put my crotch cream in my mouth….it was ok with my mouth being frozen.  He laughed!!  He laughed histarically!  Getting the wrong reaction from him, I called my mother, she laughed…….now I totally get the humour in this whole situation, but I’m still not sure if I have to rush myself to the hospital, this could be my last moments of being alive and all I am getting is pure laughter.

The caution on the bottle said not to use internally…….WELL, I consider my mouth an internal being!  You know, it’s inside of my body!  Anyway, my mom told me to gargle my mouth with salt and water and everything would be ok!

So to conclude my very dramatic story….I’m not going to die!  I will just have a bad taste in my mouth for the day!!  Note to self; ALWAYS make sure you are putting toothpaste on your toothbrush!!  And keep vagisil out of reach of children (and me)!! lol