A Bit of Everything! The Everyday Joys and Events of Real Life

Is Chivalry Dead?

September 19, 2011 By: Lynn Category: Bad Habits, Discipline, Our Children

Is chivalry dead?  I have a bone to pick with people of the year 2011, I find that there are no manners anymore.  If you actually think about it,  I have observed that people rarely care about others anymore?

Aren’t we encouraging our children to be respectful people of our society?  I know that when I go anywhere it’s very rare that you get a thank you when you open the door for someone anymore.  It’s very rare that you get a wave if you stop for someone to cross the street.  It’s very rare that you get someone to ask if you need help when your arms are full, or someone to go out of their way to hold the door open when a senior needs help.  Why is this so rare?  Weren’t we all brought up with manners and character? 

I remember being scolded if I didn’t treat someone with respect.  I know as a young person we were instilled to treat adults with respect.  Well there isn’t any respect anymore.  People are too busy to give a crap about others.   Do you think that this is what is wrong with our every so growing population, that we are just too busy?  I am not even putting young people in this category, older people are of equal blame. 

It shocks me that I am trying to teach my daughter such manageable, and expected standards of life, and yet people walk around belching and swearing like it is a new way to breath.  It’s hard to make excuses for such a disgusting habitat that we are living in.

What’s your take?  Do you believe that we are too busy?  Do you believe that we are missing something at home?  All I know, is that next time you go out, be conscious of who is or isn’t saying please and thank you.  Are you part of the problem?

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21 Comments to “Is Chivalry Dead?”

  1. I think some of the tv shows, such as Jersey Shore are not helping with teaching kids the proper way to treat each other – and we have generally gotten much too “comfortable” with dealing with people which has taken out some of the formalities that used to command respect if that makes any sense…

  2. I thinkit’s still alive somewhat. My boys open doors for people, even my three year old. They please and thank you and yes ma’am and no sir. :)

  3. Forget a wave for stopping at a crosswalk — we are lucky these days if cars actually stop to let us go! We cross in three on our daily walk to school and it’s not even consistent anymore that pedestrians (with kids to boot) are given the right of way. So sad.

    I also have beefs with people not allowing others to merge into a lane when a road is going from two to one lane. I’m always so grateful when someone is decent enough to let me in without scaring the crap out of me first. It shouldn’t be like that!

    I definitely believe there are still some manners and courtesy but it’s getting harder and harder to find.

    • Thanks for your comment Jen!! I actually face that same stuggle everyday as well when taking my child to school. Drivers are equally as hard to cope with at times. I know that trying to get on the highway, I have mini anxiety attacks sometimes.

  4. The thank you isn’t really dead – I really do believe that… I for one am one BUSY MOMMA… and sometimes I forget… but simple things like saying please and thank you need to be remembered especially if you have children – because, they DO model your behavior. And I work hard to remind my self of that every where I go.

  5. Wombat Central says:

    I taught my son at a young age to hold doors for people, and we always emphasize manners. I think people have forgotten manners in polite society!

  6. Manners where I live, the deep south, are still more prevalent than you think. My parents raised me a with a healthy fear of not being kind and respectful to otehrs, especially women and older folk.

    I think manners are learned. If you see an impolite kid, they have impolite parents.

    I can’t imagine not holding a door open or saying yes ma’am / no ma’am.

    I get compliments about my three daughters having excellent manners. It’s one of the few times I touchdown dance as a parent.

    Thank you for my blog comments. Glad I found your site, “Lynn”


    • Agreed Lance! I know that growing up we would either get a nice snap in the back of the head or “the stare.” They are both equal to one another. Thanks for your imput!!

  7. I think most people are courteous, but I *am* pregnant so that might be why I see it more often… I do remember trying to get a door open at the mall in the rain with my daughter in a stroller, and lots of people passing by. I was so thankful for the person who finally held the door for me!

  8. People seem to have given up! I have raised my children to have good manners and always be respectful, and people are actually surprised at their good behavior, when I think it should be a given. It’s quite disconcerting sometimes.


    • Jessica, I agree with you completely!! People have made manners so shocking now. It should be something that people don’t think twice about.


  9. Thanks for stopping by yesterday and for your sweet comment. :)

    Unfortunately, I’m noticing more and more how manners are falling by the wayside. :( I was raised with please and thank you, and I swear, sometimes people are just so appreciative of it when I say those things to them. Shouldn’t this be the norm?!

  10. I really think it depends on the guy. My husband is VERY chivalrous & I truly appreciate it and make sure I tell him that. We’re teaching the kids to be that way, so they will know how to treat ladies when they are older.

  11. You are not alone. This is one of the main values I’m trying to instill in my children. Sometimes it feels like I’m a salmon swimming upstream for all it’s working. Modern society doesn’t help.

  12. It does make me sad that we are too busy to notice one another anymore. We do need to return to manners.

    I will say this. Since moving to a smaller town, people have incredibly nice manners. Maybe because things are less anonymous here. Everyone knows everyone else.

  13. I’m always so touched when someone holds the door open for me, be it the car door or a building door. Those simple gestures are so nice! People are such a rush rush these days and don’t take the time for each other. It’s no wonder that some of these wonderful manners have gone by the wayside.

  14. Honestly I do believe that shivery is slowly but surely dying. You look at the parents these days and I want to go out on a limb and say, look at the ages of “so called parents” these day. between the ages of 16-25, which in my opinion there is nothing wrong with having a child within these age ranges. But I do believe that there are too many irresponsible/stupid people breeding, imagine that we were communist China with the law that restricts one child per house hold? Does that curb over population? I’m so sorry for getting off topic but I do believe that the values that we were taught when we were younger are no longer being taught to the generation that will proceed us. And yes I do fear heavily for our future if it continues in the direction that it is going. I was raised to have the utmost respect toward women and elderly only have the one woman/mother in my life completely go against all she taught us and have her children, my brother and sisters turn their backs on her! I now have a skewed vision of the women in my life but still hold those values that I was raised with, and will always hold shivery as a common practice regardless of today’s ever changing desolate society. Shivery is not dead YET but it is however succumbing a slow and painful one!

  15. Manners are gone out the door.
    I don’t think parents are teaching their kids the old school common sense approach to manners.
    Maybe it’s Toronto (where I live) I see it daily and I also tell someone that they need to step up like offering me a seat in my last trimester.
    Funny thing is, women would turn a blind eye even though they had my pregnant belly in their face!
    Great blog, I’m glad I found it :)

  16. Part of the problem is likely the way we upset people when we do hold open a door. I kid you not, I had someone ask me, “Would you mind if I held the door for you?” while I was pushing a double stroller, while holding a baby, and carrying my purse, diaper bag, and son’s school project. Some of us, me included at times, seem to think that it is a sign of weakness to accept help. It isn’t a sign of weakness at all, it is a sign that people still care, and we should embrace it before it disappears for good.


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