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Cougars in Training

February 24, 2010 By: Lynn Category: Controversial, My Views, Sex

What is a cougar?

Answer:  The most commonly-accepted definition of a cougar is a woman 40 years of age or older who exclusively pursues very young men.  Some feel that a cougar can be as young as 35, but women of this age would not be viewed as cougars unless their sexual conquests were no older than 25; the ten-year age difference seems to be an unspoken but accepted minimum between partners.

A new breed of cougars has emerged—they’re called pumas.

 What is a puma?

Answer:  An attractive woman in her late 20s or early 30s. She is a pre-cougar who is not quite old enough to be a cougar, but still likes to date/mate with younger men usually 19-23.

These 30-something (pumas) women are eager to get in on the boy-toy action, and guys are happy to oblige.  Fact is, no matter what age bracket you’re talking about, being with an “older” woman appeals to a lot of men. She has the benefit of life experience, education, and more sexual experience, in the aspect that they know what they want—three traits guys admire.   Nowadays, women are more financially successful than ever, and this shift has changed what many men desire in a partner.  Guys are often attracted primarily to a woman’s independence, direction in life, and job success.  Allot of the time, these woman are so focused on their career that they are not ready to conceive either.  So, that, in and of itself, is a small blessing that these men are looking for.  “A good time, not a long time.”  There also may be less pressure for them to prove themselves financially, because pumas tend to be more understanding if younger guys lack ambition or success.

Women in these relationships are also reaping the benefits.  Since the guys may not have nailed down a high-powered career, they are often more carefree, relaxed, and up for anything, (hint hint, nod, nod) which can be a refreshing break for women who have been dating their stressed-out male peers.  Then it also boosts their ego: Considering that these guys have the option of scoring younger women, a puma would feel pretty damn good if she snags a cub.

Younger guys also have a tendency to put older girlfriends up on a pedestal and are more easily impressed by their achievements than older men might be.  And who wouldn’t love that?  He feels as though he has something to prove, because really she can go and be with someone her own age, but it feels good to this cub that she is, “choosing him.”

As cougars well know, and pumas are figuring out, dating a younger guy can be like hitting the sexual jackpot—and not just because women peak later than men do.   A woman is coming into her peak in her early thirties which would make a male in his twenties very sexually compatible.  As women leave their twenties behind, they become more comfortable in their skin, and instead of worrying about how they look during sex, they focus more on how they feel.  They want to be fulfilled, and desired, and a man in his early twenties wants to feel that acceptance from this cougar and puma. 

This self-assurance is very attractive to young men.  Appearance will always play a major role in physical attraction, but being with a woman who has confidence is more appealing for some young men than her having super tight abs.

So tell me how do you feel about going to a club and seeing a cougar or puma trying to pick up your ex. or your brother?  Are there still double standards out there?  Is this still a taboo issue?  And if you are someone dating or married to a younger guy, did you get allot of flack for it?

10 Comments to “Cougars in Training”


  1. i do not know how to say this but i am a young male and haveing a cougar does not sound so bad

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  2. I never heard about the term “Puma” before. That’s hilarious.

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  3. Thanks so much for stopping by my blog and commenting!!!

    I am out of the loop on the whole cougar/puma thing. I am a boring SAHM who showers too rarely, wears sweats and workout clothes most of the time, and can’t be bothered to put on makeup.

    Maybe I need some cougar coaching. I mean, I’m already married, but it couldn’t hurt to have a little lesson in the finer points….

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  4. Love the post. My guy is a “little younger than me.” ;) Not quite 10 years, but I like a little youth on my guys.

    Never have I caught flack for it. But, I really wouldn’t care if I did. Not really one to give a rip about societies ideals. I want what I want, not too concerned with the desires of others to set their own standards upon me.

    Very well-thought out. Really enjoyed it. Looking forward to hitting this little spot again soon. :)

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  5. Ive been teasing my friend about being a cougar, now I know she is actually a Puma! lol Good to know.

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  6. I have no issues with it…now when that cougar is in her 70’s with a 20 year old…ick.

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